You can’t control what you feel, but you can learn to manage your emotions. Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, acknowledge that they’re there, and don’t suppress them or invalidate what you’re feeling. Negative emotions don’t feel good, but ignoring them and pretending that everything is fine isn’t good either. Eventually they will rise to the surface. What you feel matters, and it’s important to acknowledge that. It reminds me of a poem, The Guest House by Rumi:
Emotions come and go, and it’s normal to feel a number of different emotions in a day: excited, afraid, overwhelmed, thankful, frustrated, optimistic, worried. You can’t stop yourself from feeling a certain way, but you can accept the way that you’re feeling and then let it go, choosing to focus on the positive emotions instead. What you’re feeling won’t last forever – if you simply allow yourself to feel it and be present in the moment, just like a wave it will wash away. Whatever you’re feeling will pass.
Game Plan: When you feel a negative emotion coming up, take some deep breaths, ask yourself where that emotion is coming from or what caused it, how to best respond to it, feel it, and then let it dissipate. Try keeping a record of the emotions that you feel for a period of time. Being able to identify what may be causing your emotions can give you some insight and awareness into how to manage them.