And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you’re doing yourself a disservice. Don’t do that. The truth is that it hurts because it’s real. It hurts because it mattered. And that’s an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn’t mean that it won’t end, it won’t get better. Because it will.
– John Green
This is one quote from The Fault in Our Stars that I really love. Pain is what makes us human. It is a message that we need to pay attention to, whether the pain is physical or emotional. Allowing yourself to feel the pain and look deeper at what is causing it helps to begin the process of healing. You can’t just push it aside and expect it to go away – it will always come back. We need to confront it, feel it, learn from it, and always hold on to hope. Sometimes you may feel that you have to ‘be strong’ or that your pain isn’t worth being felt compared to what someone else is going through, but pain is pain. Don’t try to minimize it. We may not be able to control the suffering in our lives, but we do have a say in what it does to us and who we become because of it.
“I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord.” (Isaiah 66:9)
Game Plan: Be kind and gentle to yourself when you’re in pain. Surrender to it and stop trying to resist it. Though it can be hard, stop wishing that the scenario was different and spending emotional energy on trying to escape it. Express what you’re feeling in a journal, a painting, with an instrument, by talking to someone, or whatever helps you to express your pain without holding it back. Just sit and breathe, paying attention to your breath and being compassionate to your suffering. Get moving to help decompress and regain your center – walk, bike, dance, practice yoga. Remember to be kind to yourself and allow yourself grace.